Ansonia’s Grace Zielinska Was A Mother, Sister, Gamer, And Friend

ANSONIA – Grace Zielinska’s loved ones want her remembered as more than just a statistic.

Born as Grace Lirette, the 34-year-old mother’s life was tragically ended on Nov. 9, 2021, when her husband, Kamil Zielinski, killed her while in the grips of a psychotic episode. 

Zielinski was found not guilty of murder by reason of insanity on Dec. 11. He’s been confined to a mental facility.

Grace Zielinska’s loved ones remembered her this week as a fighter who stood up for herself and for those around her, and as a mother who loved her children fiercely.

“Grace was a very feisty, feisty woman. She was always very true to herself and could speak for herself,” said Aria Pisor, a close friend. Pisor, who lives in Oregon, met Grace on the video streaming website Twitch in 2011.

Grace had three sons – Julian, Walerian, and Florian – and they were her number one priority in life, according to Pisor.

“If she called me, she was with them,” she said. ​“I could always hear her with them. Cooking for them, she would play with them, which sometimes as an exhausted mom, that’s hard. That can be really hard, especially with three kids, a new baby.”

Although Pisor and Grace never got to meet in-person, they bonded over long distances. That bond grew stronger, Pisor said, after they each became mothers. 

In 2020 – after lockdowns due to COVID-19 began – Pisor had trouble getting to the grocery store with her kids, she said. She remembered how Grace, upon hearing about this, mailed her deliveries of yeast and other ingredients.

“I was really scared because I couldn’t get access to groceries, and she could get out in her area. So she went out and she got me things to make bread, like yeast and other essential ingredients, because she knew I like to cook things from scratch, and she mailed them to me. That meant so much to me,” Pisor said.

“She Was Always Just Very Good With Kids”

Grace was born on Aug. 10, 1987, in Laurel, Mississippi. She grew up in southern Louisiana where she was homeschooled alongside her younger sister, Kim Lirette. Both sisters moved to Connecticut later, following their mother.

Kim remembered how Grace always had a way with children – even long before she became a mother herself.

“When we’d go to church, we were in situations where we had to help watch over some of the younger kids going to the church. She was always just very good with the kids. And anytime that we had small children who were visiting our home, like relatives or maybe friends who had younger kids with them, she always was very good with them: caring for them, spending time with them. It just came very naturally for her,” Kim said.

She described Grace as a ​“firm but very loving parent” who was able to control her sons in situations where no one else could.

Kim’s childhood memories also included watching her older sister draw, and playing ​“Animal Crossing” together on the family’s Nintendo GameCube.

Pisor: Abuse Started Before 2021

Neither Pisor nor Kim were sure how Grace had come to meet Kamil Zielinski.

Pisor said that she had become worried about Grace in the years leading up to her death. Grace would tell her stories of physical and emotional abuse she faced at home, Pisor said, and Pisor would tell her she needed to go to the police.

Pisor said that Kamil had begun stockpiling weapons, including a crossbow and an axe, even with children in the house. She added that Kamil had tried, at times, to convince Grace to move with him to Alaska, or Poland, where he grew up.

By 2021, Pisor began to grow worried any time she hadn’t spoken with Grace for a while. 

“Whenever I hadn’t heard from her in a while, I would look up her name to see, is she going to be on the news? And that’s what ended up eventually happening,” Pisor said.

On Aug. 17, 2021, Pisor sent a text message to check in on Grace. Grace responded that she was safe, but shaken by recent incidents at home.

“I’ve been feeling like I’m constantly in an elevator that’s been going up and down nonstop,” Grace wrote.

“I’m very worried about you,” Pisor responded.

Grace began looking into getting a divorce from Zielinski, Pisor said, and that she told him she wanted to separate weeks before her death. On her social media profiles, she had begun to refer to herself as a single mom, and to Zielinski as her ​“ex-hubby.”

The last time Pisor and Grace spoke was on Halloween, 2021.

“Ten days before her murder, she called me crying, asking me to call her back,” Pisor said.

Pisor called back. Grace said that Zielinski had been threatening her after she told him she wanted a divorce, Pisor said.

Pisor and Grace had talked about the possibility of her moving out to Oregon and finding work or going back to school there.

On Nov. 9, 2021, Zielinski killed Grace. He was imprisoned the same day and charged with murder. His trial was Dec. 10 and Dec. 11.

Psychologist Dr. George Geysen, testifying for the defense, told the court that Zielinski had a long history of serious mental health issues, and that he was​“in the throes of psychosis” when the murder was committed.

Geysen said he had diagnosed Zielinski with schizoaffective personality disorder.

Remembering Grace

Pisor learned of Grace’s death about a week after it happened, from a Google search. 

After Pisor learned of Grace’s death, she helped organize a memorial service for Grace. That memorial was held within ​“Final Fantasy XIV,” an online multiplayer game that Grace had been streaming in the months leading up to her death.

At the virtual memorial service, dozens of players showed up – with their avatars decked out in pink, Grace’s favorite color – and led a parade to celebrate their friend. In an in-game message book, memorial attendees left kind words and memories about her.

Grace’s online profiles also contain information about her life. She streamed video games under the names CastlevaniaGirl and later MalyPaczek (Polish for ​“little donut”). 

She would sometimes draw while livestreaming for her viewers, and she sent drawings to her friends as gifts. In 2005, she created a profile on art-sharing website DeviantArt, which she would update through the end of her life.

Her favorite movie, according to that profile, was ​“Bram Stoker’s Dracula” – the 1992 version, starring Gary Oldman – while her favorite TV show was the popular Adult Swim animated series ​“Rick and Morty.”

Her favorite musicians included titans David Bowie, Cyndi Lauper, and Stevie Nicks – as well as Ninja Sex Party, a gaming-themed musical comedy duo connected to the gaming YouTube channel ​“Game Grumps.”

But even in the virtual world of video game streaming, her children came first. In her ​“About Me” section on her Twitch profile, she wrote: ​“I’m just your average half-Korean stay-at-home mommy to three beautiful sons.”

Grace is survived by her mother; her sister, Kim; and her three sons, Julian, Walerian, and Florian.

The video of Grace’s virtual memorial service is embedded below. The full video is three-and-a-half hours long; the first 90 seconds contain a written message from Pisor in tribute to Grace.

Domestic Violence Resources

Grace’s murder was one of many domestic violence deaths that have happened in the lower Naugatuck Valley. 

There is help available by calling BHcare’s Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence at 203 – 736‑9944, 203 – 789‑8104 or 1 – 888 – 774‑2900. Statewide domestic violence assistance can be found at www.CTSafeConnect.org or call/text (888) 774‑2900.

A feeling of powerlessness is a common symptom of abuse. Pisor said she had tried to remind Grace that her voice, too, had power.

“Please, please contact the police,” she remembered telling Grace. ​“Your voice is so much stronger than you think it is.”