State Rep. Kara Rochelle, in a screen shot from the video discussion.
ANSONIA — To anyone experiencing physical, emotional or verbal abuse, help is just a phone call away.
That message was the focus of a virtual domestic violence forum held Tuesday by state Rep. Kara Rochelle, who was joined by Ansonia Police Lt. Patrick Lynch; Meghan Scanlon, President/CEO of the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence; Cindy Carlson, program manager at the Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence Services, and; Geralyn O’Neil-Wild of the TEAM, Inc. Board of Directors.
Rochelle hosted the forum following the murder two weeks ago of 34-year old Ansonia mother of three, Grace Zielinska, at her Root Avenue home. Her husband Kamil Zielinski, 28, is charged with murder, and is being held in lieu of a $1 million bond at the Bridgeport Correctional Center.
Zielinska is the third woman from Ansonia or Derby since 2019 to be killed by a current or former intimate partner. In December 2019, Christine Holloway was found dead in her Ansonia home, with her boyfriend Jose Morales charged with her murder. The couple’s daughter Vanessa, now three years old, has been missing for two years.
Note: anyone with information on Vanessa’s whereabouts should call Ansonia police at 203 735 1885 or the FBI at 1 800 225 5324.
In August 2020, police said 20-year old Derby mom Rosali Acquefreda was murdered at the hands of her former boyfriend, Andre LeFrancois. He’s due back in court Jan. 3, 2022.
“Domestic violence is an issue that has touched our community and communities all over the state,” Rochelle said. “It’s really important to make sure we get all the information out, and let people know that help is available to those who need it. Domestic violence can affect anyone regardless of their background, and the warning signs aren’t always obvious.”
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior where one partner attempts to control and dominate the other through verbal, psychological, physical, sexual, financial or technological abuse, according to Scanlon.
“There’s a clear power and control dynamic,” Scanlon said.
Scanlon encouraged friends or family members who suspect someone they love may be involved in an abusive situation to trust their gut and “listen, be supportive and let that person know you are there for them.”
Often times, victims feel ashamed to do anything about their current situation, and are afraid to seek help.
“It’s not an issue you have to ashamed of, and we’re working hard to reduce that stigma,” Scanlon said. “We want you to reach out for help and know that you are not alone in this.”
Lynch said the signs are often hard to miss, especially if someone isn’t being physically abused.
“Sometimes mental abuse is worse because you don’t see that like the physical abuse,” Lynch said. “You need to have some frank conversations with people you love and care about. You may get some pushback, because people don’t want to think someone they love would do this.”
Finding resources here in the Valley or statewide is just a phone call, text or email away.
The Umbrella Shelter for Domestic Violence Services is a free and confidential place where people can seek shelter, get counseling, find programs, learns their legal rights and begin to rebuild their lives once they leave an abusive situation. Older people who may be living with abusive children can also find help there.
“This is an environment where it’s safe to come and talk with no judgment,” said Carlson.
Scanlon said the CT Coalition is staffed with family and child advocates that help victims come up with safety plans. And O’Neil-Wild said while TEAM, Inc. isn’t a domestic violence program, the social services it provides, like diapers, meals, housing and other services are equipped to connect victims to local resources.
Lynch said Ansonia police have a tremendous partner in the Umbrella, whose staff works hard to help victims safely escape their harmful situations and move on with a new life.
Rochelle said at the slate level, a new law was passed earlier this year to further expand the definition of family violence to include people who’ve been continually controlled by a family member or someone in their household. The law, in part, makes it easier for people, who aren’t being physically abused, to obtain restraining order. Rochelle also said revisions to an old law regarding “dual arrests” was made in 2019, eliminating the fear of victims getting arrested when reporting an incident.
During the 45-minute forum, Rochelle read questions previously submitted to the panel. One person asked if they’re not being hit, but can’t hang out with friends and whose boyfriends needs to know what they’re doing all the time, “is this abuse?”
Scanlon stressed that situation is a clear example of the control and power dynamic, and urged the person to reach out to a victim’s advocate to have a conversation about the situation.
A teenager asked the panel what to do when they constantly witness their mom’s boyfriend pushing their mom around and screaming at her. Lynch encouraged the teen to call 911, where calls remain anonymous.
“If you feel you or someone you love is in danger, call the police and if you don’t feel comfortable with that, talk to a school social worker or a trusted adult,” Carlson added.
No matter what type of abuse a person is experiencing, Rochelle and the panel said help is there, all you have to do is ask for it.
“You are not alone in what’s happening in your life, and there are organizations that very much care about you and will support you,” Rochelle said.
In the Naugatuck Valley, The Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence Services can be reached by phone at 203 – 780-2037.
Statewide, domestic violence resources can be reached by calling or texting a 24/7 hotline at 888 – 774-2900 or online at www.CTSafeConnect.org. All calls and texts are confidential.
Ansonia police can be reached at 203 – 735-1885, 911 or by an anonymous email tip line called Tips 411 to www.tip411.com.
For TEAM, Inc. services, call 203 – 736-5420.
