The New Year is the perfect time to start anew and develop some different strategies for coping with stress. You and your young child can reduce the amount of stress in your life by following the useful tips we have outlined here.
These suggestions are meant to make those “First Years Last Forever” with your family.This monthly educational column is provided as a public service by the Shelton School Readiness Council and is based on a recent workshop given by Cynthia Rzasa Bess, Ph.D., a developmental psychologist and educational consultant.
She recently spoke in Shelton about “Controlling Stress” at a free workshop offered by the Valley Family Resource Center and TEAM, Inc.
Be honest. Your child exhibits curiosity by asking questions. Specifically answer your child’s questions with age-appropriate responses. Do not volunteer too much information because you do not want to overload your child unnecessarily.
Deal with separation anxiety. A major move to another community can be traumatic on your child and can cause anxiety attacks. Make sure you pack your child’s favorite blanket, stuffed animal and clothes in easily identifiable containers to make this adjustment is easier when he or she experiences stress or fear after relocating.
Draw pictures. Encourage your child to draw a picture about how he or she feels. A young child oftentimes cannot vocalize the emotions but can draw a happy or sad face. A graphic illustration can reveal if your child is having negative thoughts. Pay particular attention to your child’s choice of color and how hard he or she presses down when writing and drawing. Dark colors and bold strokes with a heavy hand might indicate stress, anger or other strong emotions.
Recognize family transitions as stressors. Your child thrives on stability and does not like change. Family transitions include a range of possibilities: divorce, new baby, moving from a crib to bed, changing rooms in the home, loss of a pet or “lovey,” death of a relative, a friend moving away or even a parent staying away for long stretches of time. Place yourself in your child’s tiny shoes and remember what it was like to be that young. Take a moment to relax together and have a fun time. Validate how your child feels and acknowledge your child’s fears, so he or she knows you are listening.
Develop positive coping styles. As a responsible parent and adult, remember to maintain personal control and use effective communication skills. Keep regular family time and a positive attitude. Hobbies are a great way to de-stress.
Avoid negative coping methods. Do not become overly emotional. Refrain from yelling, panicking, being verbally abusive or withdrawn. Remember to take a deep breath before you overreact.
Develop a family structure. Family routines anchor a family and build confidence. Regular family time during shared meals such as breakfast, lunch and dinner bond people together.
A young child needs more consoling. An older child possesses better coping skills and has learned how to control emotions. Encourage your child to bring a key ring of family photos or mom’s favorite scarf to school to ease the transition.
New situations require extra attention. Your child needs time to adjust to new situations. Starting preschool, changing schools and introducing new routines such as potty training require patience. Give your child time to adjust.
Humor and hugs. Most of all, remember to laugh with your child and give plenty of hugs. The support you give your child will long be remembered as he or she grows up.
For more information about the Shelton School Readiness Council, please call Elspeth Lydon, Chair of the Council, at 924‑1580 or Cara Mocarski, Shelton School Readiness Coordinator, at 203 – 929-143
