Every now and then we find ourselves going to the Shelton Duchess on Tuesday night.
It’s the old standby, and was attended by the dinner club this past week for the third time in our short history.
It’s the gold standard for fast food — made to order, fresh, and delicious.
With a wide variety of meal options, there’s something for everybody.
I could praise the food, the service, and the staff for the remainder of this review, but that would get boring.
Just know that you can’t go wrong with a trip to Duchess.
Instead, let me shed some light on some interesting facts, creative meal suggestions, and some tips for winning at the stuffy machine. – The Shelton Duchess is the only Duchess that will bring your food to the table restaurant style-. The Shelton Duchess was the first Duchess to bring your food to the table restaurant style.
Why is this?
It’s because way back in the day when Mr. Duchess proposed opening his franchise in Shelton, Mr. P&Z said “No, no more fast food on Bridgeport Ave.”
I guess it was for traffic reasons.
Or maybe Mr. P&Z found Mr. Duchess in bed with Mrs. P&Z.
Yeah, that’s probably it.
Anyways, to get around the fast food denomination, Mr. Duchess promised to have every order walked to each customer’s table.
Mr. P&Z agreed and Duchess of Shelton was born.
Duchess employee Shanar Fraser is the man.
He doesn’t mess around, that guy is there to work.
Place your order with Shanar and I guarantee it will come out correct.
I took a look at their employee of the month plaque and noticed he didn’t win the award until the 8th month of its existence.
This is pure BS. He should have won it 8 times over by now.
Now, for some meal suggestions:
Try the meatloaf dinner platter. Meatloaf isn’t just for the old folks anymore. Seriously, get the meatloaf, it’s in style.
Dinner Clubber Charles Lee ordered it once and he wears clothing from places like Prada and Burberry.
When you order a value meal ask to upgrade the fries to chili cheese fries. The fries come DOUSED in the good stuff. A fork will be required for consumption.
Here’s a trick for all you petty thieves like myself: The refills on drinks are free. Free for a lifetime! Just keep your cup, rinse it with water when you get home, then sneak it back in and inconspicuously refill during your next visit.
I’ve used the same cup since December! Ha!
For a special treat not featured on the menu, ask for a “Big D Bacon Bun.”
Invented by Dinner Club King Bungus Kosko, the bacon bun is a hot dog roll loaded to capacity with bacon bits.
I find it to be quite disgusting, yet awe inspiring.
No trip to Duchess would be complete without trying your luck at the stuffed animal claw machine.
Duchess of Shelton has 25 cent and a 50 cent machine.
The 50 cent machine obviously features larger and more appealing prizes, but has a weak claw and is twice as hard to win anything.
You’re much better off inserting your money into the 25 center. The key to success at any stuffy machine is not to go for what you want, but to go for what is winnable.
I can not stress this enough. Forget the Bart Simpson doll that’s pushed up against the glass, you’ll never get it.
The machine refillers know you want that prize and he placed it there for that very reason.
Instead, focus your attention of the misshapen fish or the Cincinnatti Bengals novelty finger that’s lying on top. You will win these prizes, and may uncover something more desirable in the process.
Also, sometimes nothing is obtainable. When this happens just sit back, relax, and let a few chumps waste their money and loosen things up for you. Patience is a virtue.
Now for the score:
Out of 16 Dinner Club members Duchess of Shelton recieved a perfect 32 thumbs up! A Dinner Club first! Congratulations Duchess! Go there! Eat!
